I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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