So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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