walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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