unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I supernannyed him into submission
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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