You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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