P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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