Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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