Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
where am i from again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My feet surprised me
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