Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize