God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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