i jhust puked up my retainher.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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