You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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