How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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