she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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