I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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