why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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