I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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