he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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