ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize