I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize