i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize