There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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