I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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