please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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