i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize