Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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