Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize