So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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