non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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