you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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