I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize