when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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