found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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