I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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