Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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