I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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