almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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