Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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