i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize