It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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