I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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