first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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