All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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