u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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