You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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