since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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