Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize