She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize