Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
People in love make me want to vomit
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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