yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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